Ferrerbury

Admit it. The idea of mixing blue box mac 'n' cheese with chocolate is gross. Maybe that's the true reason why Cadbury has rejected Kraft. Now let's imagine what might happen when Nutella meets the Cadbury Egg. Much, much better.

Subprime Living: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Slugs

LONDON--For two months beginning 1 September, I walked through the same home stay door in northern London. Curiously enough, for one and a half months, I gave little concern to the bruising pains in my lower shins as I wandered under that roof. Into the kitchen, up to the bathroom, back down to the bedroom. But wait! After two months, it occurred to me that continually whack-whacking my lower appendages was the standard of living in the house, kept just above the dirty, dusty floors. Just high enough for some to shrug at me and slap on a label that reads “learning experience”.

Cover your eyes, faint of heart. Put down your food. And drop the idea that studying abroad is all sunshine and harmony. No, no, no. It was a house in disrepair—almost humorous how the carpenter could fail so incredibly to cut dry wall, paneling, and molding even within an inch of connecting. Above the stair landing, a blemish so large in the ceiling that one could look up and see the absent dry wall, past the raw, dusty wood and into the shower on level two. Structural defects resulted in chilly drafts seeping through wall-length windows next to my bed.

Spin Doctor: It was a welcoming home, enhancing my experience by leaving the structural gaps open to the free flow of diverse wildlife. A “normal” home stay experience. What could be wrong with conversing with Londoners in the morning, and visiting with the massive slugs at night?

What? Yes, a slug “infestation”—but they were visitors, retreating back into the walls and garden when the sun shone. Come nighttime, I’d see mama slug and papa slug perched on the “clean” dish area, while the kiddies roamed the sink and counter. Did you know slugs eat dog food? Apparently one had developed a taste. Wait, it gets better. Dozens of tiny, white, parasitic bugs swarm across the slug’s slimy skin—the same slime that covered the dish sponges, the dishes, the sink, the counters, and the walls.

When conversation dried up with the slugs, I could wait for the mice to wander through underneath the floor boards. If I was really desperate, pellets of mouse poison were conveniently strewn on a shelf next to the food cupboard above the stovetop.

Skip the mold on the ceilings and mildew penetrating the walls. Skip the “clean” laundry coated with dust and dog hair. Skip the used pillow covered in blood and food stains. Skip the mouse droppings in the dresser drawer when we arrived. Skip the warning to wear shoes so as to not get jabbed by nails and loose floorboards. Skip the 10 days without a shower. Skip the morning wake-up alarm of construction in the house. Skip the lack of privacy.

Fast forward to October 30th and there we are, my roommate and I, standing in the entry way of a new home stay, meeting the new family. Thanks to the organization for moving us. The new place is great.

And I don’t miss the slugs.

The Dead Weather

one more coffee.
one more cigarette.
one more morning trying to forget.
if i had the chance,
i wouldn't like to bet
your game is something yet.

oh, it's a shame--ain't natural for you.
baby, it's a sin.
you know you just can't win when you are in.

you used to ride on buses.
take a tube to camden town.
now you go by aeroplane--don't let nothing bring you down.

it's a shame. ain't natural for you.
baby, it's a sin.
don't you know you just can't win when you are in?

now the road is dark and lonely
but you got a pearl light mode.
you're up in park lane now,
and i'm somewhere around in tottenham court road.

it's a shame--ain't natural for you.
baby, it's a sin.
no, you just can't win.
no, you just can't win
when you are in.

cover by the dead weather.

Remembrance Day

Checklist:
X.....Go to Parliament Hill for Remembrance Day, hear Royal Bands, watch thousands of retired
service men and women march through the street, and almost see the Queen place a
memorial on the Cenotaph. Instead, the view was blocked by the back of a street sign with
an "Impeach Bush" sticker.
X.....Get close with complete strangers and experience one of the worst foot-traffic jams in
twenty-one years. There's no such thing as a personal bubble in London, and I'm finally
comfortable with that.
X.....Go to Old Spittalfield Market near Liverpool Station and have opinion of hummus radically
changed at The Real Greek restaurant. One vendor was stelling Banksie photos. Not a
chance--I'll take my own Banksie photos.
X.....Write marketing paper comparing Borough and Spittalfield. Borough is much better. Way
more food variety. Paper is done.
_.....First homemade meal with new homestay family. Sunday roast couldn't sound any better.

In two month's time, I'll be coming home a completely different person. No more of that watery skim milk, fried eggs, or basic snack foods. Give me whole milk, hard boiled eggs, hummus, and olives.

And we're back! You're fortunate eyes have landed on the
trail-blazing,
stress razing,
mind-elating,
INVIGORATING,
promulgating,
fact-inflating,
never fading blog of yours truly. Coming at you from foggy town near London's mound--past the bus stop and through the door, up the stairs, on the second floor. Here you have it. Ladies and Gentlemen, THE RHUDABEGA!

You have missed out. How much happens in two months? Shoot. Trips to: Cardiff, Wales; Bath, Glatsonbury, and Stonehenge; the beautiful Scotland (Edinburgh, Inverness, Isle of Skye); Oxford; Windsor and Eton. Tours of Inns of Court and Parliament. Numerous pubs. The passage from poor homestay to great homestay. Five hour running photo-tour of London. Classes. And, of course, music to fit all the moods.

But, I'd like to express my gratitude for one invariable factor this semester. Though stress be high, a history paper below par, slug infestation, and our miscommunication, I have yet to clog the toilet. Couldn't tell you where the plunger is located. Heck, maybe there isn't one. Load up the red meats, fried foods, and biscuits! I'll sweat this one out in confidence.

A few goals of mine this November.
1) Grow the Novembeard. No shave November. Time to get grizzly.
2) Explore the nooks of London's music scene with aforementioned Novembeard.
3) Don't take for granted the little time left in London.

Any questions? Bueller? Bueller?