London Day -- My best attempt to express the mixture of feelings is by way of analogy. Three years ago I joined the Wind Ensemble, not entirely confident in my playing but more so excited to see where the group would take me. The group took me to Orchestra Hall--my first time there. I vividly remember approaching the stage doors, walking out on stage, dodging percussion equipment, trying to find the best route without tripping, and making sure I didn't knock music over. That's the visible me finding my seat on the OH stage. Here's my thought process, best respresented as a checklist:
First: (approaching stage door) "Oh, no. Do I still have all my music?"
Second: (approaching stage door, still) "Bow-tie. Check. Fly zipped. Check. Shoes tied. Check."
Third: (going through stage door) "Don't trip. Don't trip. Don't trip."
Fourth: (back toward audience) Fake smile at someone.
Fifth: (back toward audience) Check for third time to make sure phone is not on me.
Sixth: (sitting down) "Everyone can see me, but I can't see anyone"
Seventh: (standing to welcome conductor) Profuse sweating.
The riled up nerves, discomfort, anxiety, excitement, and perspiration on performance day match the state of Scott today. Once again, excitement dominates by far.
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